Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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