I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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