I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
