Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
