Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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