You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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