508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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