Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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