So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
smell my finger.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
