i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
