??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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