im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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