You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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