just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
