Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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