I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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