This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
