I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
