i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
