She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
