is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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