I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
