I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
