just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it's like heaven, but drunker
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
