Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
