You can't special order awesome
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
