I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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