3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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