she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
