somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
