I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
