Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
