We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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