happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
