You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
