Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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