i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Im part way to drunk.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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