yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
