Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
