I think my fart just growled at me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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