names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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