I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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