So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
