Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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