Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
