ya dads aren't the best wingmen
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
