i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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