Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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