I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
