Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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