so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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