i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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