I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
